The holiday anti-bucket list

Ways to slow down, say no, and still enjoy the season ahead...

I woke this morning to a text from my daughter’s friend’s mom at 6:35AM. She was out Black Friday shopping and wanted to know if the girls wanted matching pajama pants for their upcoming hot cocoa bar party. It was nice she thought of us, but I’ll admit it started my day off in a state of fight or flight.

We’re in it now, aren’t we?

That mad dash to the end of the year.

That constant feeling that we aren’t doing enough,

that we should be doing what the other families or friends are doing,

and that if we don’t — we have failed.

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I just wanted to send you all a gentle note to say that — even though I have no idea what you’re doing — you’re doing just great already. Even if you don’t think you are, you’re probably doing enough just worrying about not doing enough. How’s that for reasoning?

We watched Christmas with the Kranks last night and it got me thinking about what it means to “do Christmas” (or whatever holiday your family celebrates) these days in the age of Pinterest and Instagram and aesthetic-everything plastered everywhere for clout.

I give you permission to . . .

Forget the holiday season bucket lists.

Scratch matching pajamas off the list of needs.

Leave that extra box of outdoor decorations in the attic this year.

Say “no” to the last-minute party invites of people who aren’t your besties.

Unfollow accounts that make you feel like you’re less-than.

Instead, try saying YES to slowing down and focusing on the family within the four walls of your home.

Here’s how we’re slowing down this year:

• We’re doing more family movie nights. Not the over-the-top kind. Just popping popcorn, grabbing our pillows and blankets, and choosing a free movie on streaming.

• We’re bundling up and taking short hikes in our neighborhood in the snow.

• We’re lighting candles at dinner time to make things cozy.

• We’re strolling around our nearby small town and enjoying the vibes + decorations and small shops.

• We’re taking photos to collect in a memory book.

• We’re taking more baths.

• We’re making a point to cook and bake together as a form of entertainment.

• We’re focusing on gratitude and what we do have versus what we want.

• We’re leaning into our low-key, tried-and-true holiday traditions (future post) versus trying to create new ones based on what’s trending this year.

Consider starting a gratitude jar:

Take an old ball jar and cut a piece of paper up into little strips — we like to do one color for each family member. Place the strips in a little box next to the jar with a pen. Each evening (or just when the mood strikes), have each person write something they are thankful for on the paper. It can be little things or big things (help the little ones!). And then read them together before the new year…

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